The Idea That Your Partner May Leave You?

Moreover, you can feel downright squirrely if your spouse leaves to cool off after a heated argument. Unless your feelings have been heard and at least the promise of a resolution offered, you’ll probably be triggered into anger or despair.Your partner can also be physically present yet emotionally absent; he or she seems to “disappear” in front of your very eyes. This can drive you crazy especially if your he or she refuses to acknowledge the emotional distance that’s sending you into a tailspin.These feelings are so easily triggered that you feel abandoned even if you initiate a break-up. That is, you still come away feeling as if your partner had left you!Unresolved abandonment issues help to explain why anger surfaces over the sudden accidental death of a loved one. Whether it is expected or not, the death of a loved one can feel sudden and shocking and give rise to feelings of being left behind.Just so you know, unless abandonment issues are resolved (or until you learn better ways to respond) these feelings will arise in all your close relationships.The reason these feelings are so strong is that these right-brain-based implicit“ways of responding” were learned at a time when physical survival itself was at stake – that is, in the first few years of life.What the child learns in the early years gets ingrained in a way that is difficult to access as an adult. Yet, it is often only through our adult relationships that these feelings of abandonment are resolved.

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